anything other than being exactly on time, i can do.

the way the world looks at dusk is breathtaking.

everything is colored in shades of blue, with a sort of imminent whispering feeling that everyone, even the buildings, exudes. like, “night is almost here — quick, come this way.” i imagine that most people would find that depressing, but i am exactly the opposite: energized. if i could keep new york in this state of mind permanently, i probably wouldn’t – but i wouldn’t mind elongating it either. the wind is blowing in such a way that it’s visibly pushing the clouds sideways, like a continuous side-scrolling backdrop. like, i’m in a movie, with a cloudy, sideways backdrop. the street lights seem brighter, and the yellowed windows decorating all these buildings across the street warm my heart. even the silhouetted steam escaping the roof-top pipes is comforting to me.

i can’t remember what time it was when i sat down here in my windowsill; the indented red lines on my crossed legs tell me more time has passed than my brain would care to admit. worth it.

i lift my right foot and start to trace the alphabet in the air, stretching my leg out past my building and into the cooled Manhattan air whirling around me. i lose myself in the car horns, the street conversations, the muffled sounds of my neighbors cooking dinner. i’m lost in new york.

it’s been so long since i’ve written for no reason, i feel like i’ve almost forgotten how to. which is unfortunate. we learn from our mistakes, from our pasts, from our opportunities missed or taken. by the time i’m old enough to know what i’m talking about, i’ll… be old.

youth is wasted on the young.

and now my legs are numb.

 

worth it.

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