i discovered today that i had been de-friended. blocked, actually. a face from my past had decided that i should indeed stay in the past, and decidedly wanted nothing more to do with me in the future as well.
this has happened to me only on the rarest of occasions, and the four people i’ve kept blocked my entire life were creepers that had no business harassing me online. there was once when i defriended and blocked a friend, but i soon realized how utterly immature that was and restored that. that was also when i was 18, medically withdrawing from school, and right before i started hallucinating due to misdiagnoses of medications. but an older friend at least 8-10 years older than me, blocking me without a bat of the eye? i’ve had my recent tiffs with a few names, but nothing deserving a resort back to such an elementary way of dissolving any remaining tension.
mildly saddened (and yet enlightened), i leaned back from my computer screen to take a few moments and dwell on the superficialities of “friendships”. ultimately, i realize once again how incredibly blessed i am to have the friends i do. two nights ago, my best friend completely called me out on being too stubborn to let go of my pride and be vulnerable. this past month, another dear friend sat me down and delved into an iron-sharpening-iron type of conversation that was life perspective changing … a paradigm shift of sorts. regardless of my mistakes with relating to other past friends and colleagues, there are still people who stick around. who see me for me. who look past the superficial facades we all put up (myself very much included), and show a kind of forgiving, unconditional love that we all desire and yet give out so rarely.
in a time where simply defriending that one pest of a person in your life seems like the easy way to delete them from your memory banks, i think it’s really time we spend more of our energy focusing on creating actual friendships. real, lasting, living & breathing friendships that will take a few hits, but keeps each other moving forward to become better human beings. and isn’t that what we all really want anyway – peaceful coexisting?
i am not perfect, nor have i been. but i do believe that i’m learning a lot about love recently. and in this case, love is something very real in our lives outside of facebook, right next to forgiveness, maturity, and compassion.
i’m abundantly thankful for my friends, whether they be dear, close, old, new, or even my best friend in the whole wide world, and i need to tell them that WAY more often. i hope that whoever is reading this will say the same :).